Over Lunch
by 50of47
Summary: The Captain asks her First Officer for help in responding to a request from Starfleet Command in the Pathfinder Project's first datastream transmission to Voyager.


Disclaimer: The Voyager Universe: Theirs. This story: mine. Profit: I wish.

Summary:The Captain asks her First Officer for help in responding to a request from Starfleet Command in the Pathfinder Project's first datastream transmission to _Voyager_.

Rating: PG

Over Lunch

by50of47

Captain Kathryn Janeway pushed back from her monitor and made herself comfortable in her chair behind the Ready Room desk. She could feel the beginning of a dull ache in her temples that usually preceded one of her full-blown headaches. She closed her eyes and deepened her breathing, hoping that a few minutes of focused Vulcan meditation would stave off its onset. It was far too early in the day with far too many important matters demanding her attention to allow a migraine to interfere.

The door chime interrupted her quiet time just as the relaxation technique was beginning to have an effect. Janeway sighed and opened her eyes as she called out, "Come in."

Chakotay entered the Ready Room in a buoyant mood. "Good morning," he said, as he strode briskly to stand before the desk.

"Um-hmm." The Captain now had her elbow on the desk, resting her chin in her hand while she stared at the screen of her desktop terminal.

Janeway's lackluster tone and glum facial expression immediately got his attention. "Problem?"

She looked up. "I haven't decided. I've just listened to a communiqué from Admiral Hayes."

Chakotay smiled and said, "Nice to have friends in high places."

When his banter got a sour look instead of the usual good-natured smirk, Chakotay grew concerned. Janeway punched a few commands into her terminal, turned it slightly so that he could see the screen as well, and then activated the message playback. The blue and white Federation starfield emblem disappeared to be replaced by the gray-haired, fatherly image of Admiral Hayes. He began to speak.

_"Hello, Captain. I hope this message finds you well. From what I understand, it has not been easy, but I want you to know that a lot of people here are very proud of what you've accomplished. I also want to assure you that we have not given up on finding a way to get you home. We've redirected two deep space vessels toward your position. If all goes well, they could rendezvous with you in the next five to six years."_

Chakotay leaned over the desk to watch the communiqué, glancing at Janeway's face a few times during the playback. He noticed that the reassuring words elicited no sense of happiness from his Captain. Only once did she look away from the screen to return his gaze. The last time he glanced over at her, Janeway was drinking her coffee with an expression of distaste, apparently barely able to listen to Admiral Hayes for yet another time. _She looks depressed_, he thought.

With a scowl, Janeway paused the playback. She walked around to the other side of the desk and repositioned the terminal.

"Computer, advance to time index 121.4." She hit the play button, and sat down in front of the desk without another word. Taking his cue from Janeway, Chakotay settled into the chair next to her.

Admiral Hayes continued. _"…as we get closer and our conversations become more frequent. When you respond to this message, please let us know of any casualties. I'm sure you've had more than your share. I'm anxious to know the status of your crew, the Maquis, first contacts that you've made, interactions with the Borg. But there'll be time for everything. Our thoughts are with you. Talk to you soon."_

During the second portion of the communiqué, Janeway watched Chakotay's face intently for his reaction. At the mention of the 'status of the Maquis,' his normally fluid and relaxed body language began to tighten up as he glanced momentarily at her and then looked back at the screen. When the Federation starfield emblem reappeared at the end of the message, Chakotay sat wordlessly staring at it, unmoving, until he realized Janeway was waiting for him to speak.

"What?" he asked.

"Status of the Maquis," she prompted.

"Do you find that surprising?"

An obviously distressed Janeway said, "I don't think of you or B'Elanna or the others as _'Maquis.'_ I think of you as part of my crew."

_That explains the bad mood_, thought Chakotay. He hated what he had to say next, but tried to soften his words with a smile. "You may have forgotten, but we haven't." Admiral Hayes' request did concern him, but he offered Janeway a little of his perspective. "You heard the Admiral - it'll be years before we have to deal with those issues. Let's worry about it then."

Janeway leaned over toward him, her eyes guarded. "Do you have lunch plans?"

Chakotay moved closer and gave her a flirtatious smile. "Is that an invitation?"

Janeway's vulnerability clearly showed on her face as she answered, "I was hoping you'd help me compose a response."

"You're on." Chakotay's smile widened into a grin.

Janeway happily returned it as they rose and headed for the Ready Room door. She handed off the Bridge to Tuvok, pausing for a moment before she and Chakotay entered the turbolift to remind her tactical officer that he had a report to prepare for the next datastream.

"Deck 3," Janeway ordered once the doors were closed. Chakotay looked surprised. "My invitation, my replicator," she said. "Did someone warn you, Kathryn?" Janeway gave him a puzzled look. "Warn me?" 

"Neelix is serving stuffed taaka leaves for lunch."

"What are they stuffed with?"

"You don't want to know," he said. "I'd call my gastrointestinal early warning system strictly a Maquis operation, except that it's usually Harry or Tom who find out when Neelix is being a little more adventurous than usual in the galley. That's when messages marked 'a little friendly advice' start popping up on my console," he said with a chuckle.

Janeway laughed and said, "No, no warning. I just thought it would be better to work on our response to Admiral Hayes in private. Besides, I'd like to get away from my Ready Room for a while."

By this time, they had reached Janeway's quarters. "Make yourself comfortable," she said once they were inside, as she shrugged off her uniform jacket and hung it across the back of a chair.

"Feeling Headquarters breathing down your neck?" Chakotay asked.

"Between us? Not to leave this cabin?" He nodded. Janeway hesitated a moment and then admitted, "A little. There's a limit to how much they can do from 30,000 light years away, but it still feels strange to be back in the chain of command again, even at this distance. I guess I've gotten spoiled, being the ultimate authority for so long."

"Kathryn, it's only going to be once a month, and for long enough that you'll have time to get used to it again."

"You're right," she said with a sigh, her voice drifting off. "Chakotay, I'd like a break from ship's business for a little while, so why don't we table this discussion until after lunch?" He nodded. "How do mushroom soup and a salad sound?"

"A lot better than stuffed taaka leaves," said Chakotay with a smirk, as he picked up her utensils to set the table.

Janeway went to the replicator and punched in several commands. "Tell me more about this gastrointestinal early warning system, and how I can get my name added to the list," she said while waiting for their lunch to materialize. They continued to banter and laugh over the latest ship's gossip throughout the meal, until Janeway finally relaxed and her sour mood from earlier dissipated.

During a momentary conversational lull after they were finished eating, Janeway took a sip of her coffee, looked down at the table, and sighed. "I suppose we should get down to it," she said. She picked up her mug and walked over to the couch. Chakotay cleared the remains of the meal from the table, put it in the replicator for recycling, and then joined her. He sat close enough to be a reassuring presence without being invasive, and rested his arm across the back of the couch, angling his body to face her.

"Not sure where to start?" he asked.

"Yes and no," said Janeway. "I'm going to delegate the report on crew status to you, the encounters with the Borg to Tuvok, and I'll cover first contacts. That should give Hayes most of what he asked for. I'll attach all of them to my primary report, which will deal largely with the 'status of the Maquis.'"

"Kathryn?"

"Hayes gave me a good opening when he said he was sure we'd had more than our share of casualties. I did lose a lot of people after the Caretaker pulled _Voyager_ into the Delta Quadrant, but I don't think we've had even a dozen fatalities since we combined crews and started for home. Considering everything we've been through, that's low."

"Two of the Maquis were outright traitors," said Chakotay. "That won't sit too well with Headquarters."

"Seska and Jonas," said Janeway. She paused to take a sip of coffee. "That was years ago, Chakotay, and they're both long gone. Those two were the only rotten apples among the Maquis."

"Don't forget Suder," said Chakotay.

"I haven't," said Janeway, "but I tend to look at the mitigating circumstances in his case. I can't excuse his crime, but he gave his life to help us retake _Voyager_ from the Kazon."

"He's definitely in a category by himself," said Chakotay, "in more ways than one."

"More than likely, it's those three that will give Starfleet the most concern. Everyone else has proven themselves over and over again. I've lost track of the number of times one of B'Elanna's miracles has saved us all. Tuvok thinks very highly of Ayala as part of his security team. Dalby, Gerron, Henley, Chell - so many others that just continue to do their jobs day in and day out to keep this ship going. I have to make Headquarters understand that our situation might have been much worse if it weren't for the Maquis. Without them, we _would_ have had more than our share of casualties."

"You'll get no argument from me. I'm just glad someone in a Starfleet uniform sees it that way. I don't even want to imagine what Nechayev's going to say…"

"Nechayev is tough, but fair, Chakotay, and so is Ross. Hayes is a little more open-minded than most. I'm sure we can depend on Tom's father to be on our side, but offhand, I can easily think of several of the brass who would find the slightest breach of protocol inexcusable. Being stranded in the Delta Quadrant wouldn't be a good enough reason for trusting people they consider to be criminals with Starfleet technology."

"Sounds like you don't want to wait until we rendezvous with those deep space vessels Hayes mentioned," said Chakotay.

"We could be home by then, given the progress we've been making, Chakotay - or on the other hand, we could be out here so long that the 'status of the Maquis' won't matter any more by the time we're finally in Earth orbit. I'm going to be optimistic and say sooner rather than later. Now is the time for me to make a difference for whenever that day comes, while Headquarters is still so damned proud of me."

"You think it will jeopardize the Maquis's chances if you wait?"

Janeway looked away, sighed, and set her mug down on the coffee table. She slid over closer to Chakotay, and turning her back to him, she snuggled up against his side and under the arm that was still resting on the back of the couch. She shifted around until she could comfortably lay her head against his shoulder.

Chakotay was glad she couldn't see the surprise on his face. The last time Janeway had sought reassurance from his platonic affection was over two years ago. It was the time she had almost died when an alien entity possessed her and tried to lure her into his matrix. Chakotay remembered a moonlit evening on Lake George, sitting on the deck of a sailboat for hours with his arms around her as they talked about what had happened. He realized that he was about to hear something that she found equally troubling. Chakotay shifted his body slightly so that Janeway could rest more comfortably against him, and then wrapped his arms around her as he waited for her to begin.

"Once Headquarters is finished using their proverbial fine tooth comb on the logs we've already sent back to Pathfinder, I probably won't have a career to jeopardize," said Janeway.

_Equinox_, thought Chakotay. "You stepped back, Kathryn."

"And when you called me on it, I relieved you of duty, Chakotay, and I threatened to do the same with Tuvok," she said. "I was way over the line."

"But you stepped back, Kathryn, and we got through it in one piece."

She sat quietly for a few moments before voicing one of her biggest fears. "There just isn't any acceptable reason for what I tried to do to Noah Lessing. He's perfectly within his rights to have me brought up on charges. Starfleet will cashier me," she said. Chakotay felt Janeway shudder and grow tense. He tightened his arms around her.

"Your defense is that you stepped back, Kathryn," he said. "And that in nearly six years in a hostile quadrant with no backup, this was the _only_ instance where Headquarters might have just cause to question your judgment."

Janeway relaxed further into Chakotay's embrace. "I hope you're right."

"Tuvok to Janeway."

Janeway sat up quickly and pulled herself out of Chakotay's arms - a little reluctantly, it seemed to him. She stood and walked toward the chair where she had hung her uniform jacket. "Janeway here. Report."

"Captain, long-range sensors are showing an uninhabited system with several M-class planets. Two have readings that are worth investigating for possible resupply. You may wish to return to the Bridge."

"On my way. Janeway out." She turned to Chakotay and said, "Looks like break time is over."

"We didn't get much accomplished," he said.

"I wouldn't say that," said Janeway, as she zipped up her uniform jacket. "You said a few things that've given me ideas, but I'll need to think it all through." She straightened her jacket and said, "It's a good thing that we sent the Doctor to Pathfinder this month. It gives me time to work out what I want to say."

"Let me know what you come up with?"

"Gladly," Janeway said as they left her quarters for Deck 1.



A few days later, Janeway was finishing up preparations for her weekly dinner with Chakotay. It was to be the usual working session, but out of uniform. When the door chimed, she called out, "Come in."

Chakotay entered and smiled when he saw that the table was set a little more elaborately than usual. "Special occasion, Kathryn?" he asked.

"I finished my report to Admiral Hayes. It wasn't easy, but I think I got my point across. That's reason enough for a little celebration. I'll play it for you after dinner."

Chakotay saw the terminal sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch and said, "I'll look forward to it." He took a seat at the dinner table as Janeway brought over the first of several dishes from the replicator. When she finally joined him, they began their accustomed routine.

A little more than an hour later, both the meal and ship's business were finished, so they moved over to the couch with their after dinner coffee. Janeway looked over at Chakotay and smiled.

"Ready?"

He returned her smile, but it was obvious from his tense body language that he was apprehensive. Janeway reached over to rest her hand on his arm and said, "Relax, Chakotay."

"Easier said than done, Kathryn."

"I know," she said as she gave his arm a squeeze. Janeway leaned forward slightly and tapped a key to bring up her message to Admiral Hayes. The playback showed her seated behind her desk in the Ready Room. She tapped another key and the message began to run.

_"Hello, Admiral Hayes. It's an unexpected pleasure to see your face again. The crew is pretty excited about monthly communication with their loved ones through Pathfinder. We're also looking forward to meeting up with the two deep space vessels you mentioned, but given that we've covered roughly half the distance toward home in past five and half years, we're actually hoping to be much closer to Earth than their projected location by time of the scheduled rendezvous._

_"As you know, we used last month's return transmission to send Voyager's EMH to Jupiter Station to treat Dr. Zimmerman. I instructed our Doctor to file a report with Starfleet Medical regarding his development of Borg nanoprobe therapy and its medical applications. In future datastreams, I will have both Engineering and Astrometrics submit detailed accounts on their adaptation of Borg technology to ship's systems as well._

_"In the interest of being thorough, I've delegated some of the responsibility for the information you've requested. My First Officer will brief you on crew status, and my Tactical Officer will cover our dealings with the Borg. I've prepared a lengthy account detailing our first contacts. All three are attached to this message._

_"Which brings me to what I consider to be the most important information you requested – the 'status of the Maquis.' I hardly know where to begin. A straight recitation of facts or an annotated crew roster doesn't begin to cover it. _

_"From the very beginning, the renegade captain that Starfleet sent me into the Badlands to apprehend was not what I was led to expect. Although he was understandably wary, he willingly cooperated with me in locating and recovering members of both our crews who had been abducted and held by the Caretaker. When Tuvok and I beamed over to the Array to search for the device that could send us back home, the Kazon attacked Voyager. Seeing our desperate situation, Captain Chakotay beamed his crew over and sacrificed his own ship to disable the much larger Kazon battle cruiser that had _Voyager_ pinned down._

_"I was forced to destroy the Array to prevent the Kazon from annihilating an entire civilization and using the Caretaker's technology to alter the balance of power in this Quadrant. That's a very short and simplistic explanation of the command decision that stranded us here, but we can discuss the Prime Directive issues in another communiqué._

_"I lost nearly a third of my crew when we were initially pulled into the Delta Quadrant. Since the Maquis no longer had a ship of their own, I decided that it made more sense to combine the two crews and set course for home, than to hold them in the brig or secured quarters for the next 70 years. Captain Chakotay agreed to become my First Officer on a vessel that would continue to function under Starfleet protocols. As you can imagine, that modus operandi didn't sit especially well with the Maquis, but one of Chakotay's first responsibilities was the integration of the two crews. He was able to persuade them to set aside their differences with Starfleet and the Federation for the common good. _

_"There were quite a few rough spots during those early years. I took advantage of Tuvok's background as an Academy instructor and authorized training classes to familiarize the Maquis with 'Fleet protocols. Although the experience tried my Tactical Officer's Vulcan patience to its limit, the Maquis finally accepted his authority after he risked his life to save one of their own. Thereafter, they began to work more comfortably under Starfleet guidelines, until the two crews finally became one._

_"It was evident from the very beginning that the Delta Quadrant was a very hostile and dangerous place to be without backup. Commander Chakotay recommended a number of Maquis he felt were qualified to handle key positions, among them, B'Elanna Torres. I questioned that particular recommendation, given her difficulties at the Academy, but he urged me to keep an open mind. It soon became clear that B'Elanna's unique skills and her ability to think outside of Starfleet protocols when necessary would give us the edge needed to survive out here. Thus, I promoted her over Lieut. Carey, who was next in line for the position. _

_"At present, Engineering is heavily staffed with Maquis who follow Starfleet procedures without question unless the situation calls for a unique approach. I credit Lieut. Torres' 'Maquis ingenuity' as a key factor in allowing us to survive out here long enough for Pathfinder's datastream to reach us. _

_"Admiral Hayes, it is vital that you understand that our situation could easily have been much worse. I call your attention specifically to Captain Ransom and the _Equinox

_I was fortunate to have the Maquis at hand to fill positions vacated by the crewmembers I lost. Captain Ransom lost half his crew within weeks of arriving in the Delta Quadrant, and had no one with which to replace them. He was a good man up against far more than he and his decimated crew could be expected to handle on a Nova-class science vessel designed for planetary research. His First Officer was a man of convenient integrity, whose desire to reach home at any cost compromised his ability to serve as Captain Ransom's advisor and moral compass. If it wasn't for the Maquis, _Voyager_ could easily have gone the same route as the _Equinox

_If you will access my logs regarding the _Equinox_ incident, and those of my First Officer and Tactical Officer as well, you will find..."_

"Kathryn!"

"Computer, pause playback." Janeway turned to face her First Officer. "There's no glossing over it, Chakotay. When I recorded my full report on _Equinox _after it was all over, I documented the incident in detail. I was still able to think of my actions as justifiable on some level when the whole thing was just a log entry that Headquarters wouldn't see for years, but now that we're in regular contact with them…" Her voice trailed off.

"Are you absolutely sure about referencing this, Kathryn?"

"I can't hide from it, Chakotay, nor can I expect to make a convincing argument on behalf of the Maquis without putting my words into a context." She sighed and said, "You haven't heard the rest of the message."

"All right."

"Computer, resume playback."

_"…I was hardly a paragon myself. As you know, my family has served Starfleet for many years. The ideals of the Federation have been my guide since childhood. However, when I look back on my conduct during the _Equinox_ incident, I can freely admit to you that several of my command decisions during that encounter have led me to feel at times that I have disgraced this uniform and don't deserve to wear it._

_"The terrorist I was sent to apprehend was the one who stopped me from completely betraying those high ideals in the irrational pursuit of what I mistakenly believed to be a reasonable course of action under the circumstances. It was his opposition that forced me to step back from behaving as a terrorist myself. This Maquis 'criminal' is my right hand, my voice of reason, and my conscience on those occasions when it seems I have misplaced my own. _

_"If someone who believes in the ideals of the Federation as passionately as I do could stray so far from upholding them, isn't it also possible that someone who began his service on this ship as a wanted man could rise to a position of integrity? _

_"If we are both to be completely honest here, you must admit that the Maquis were right about the Cardassians long before anyone in Starfleet realized what was happening. The Maquis fought to defend their homes and families after the Federation they counted on to protect them betrayed a treaty made in good faith. I have heard stories of Cardassian atrocities that would make you weep. It was an enormous act of faith for the Maquis aboard Voyager to set all that aside to follow Starfleet protocols simply because I expected it of them. _

_"Their faith and devotion to duty and to our common goal of seeing home once again have been significant factors in Voyager's survival. With so many lives lost in the Dominion War, it strikes me that this is a time to focus more on reconciliation rather than on exacting retribution. It is more important for the future of our Federation to rebuild lives, rather than to punish people for taking actions that proved to be a foreshadowing of much worse to come._

_"My final words on the status of the Maquis are these: I don't think of the people under my command as Maquis or Starfleet. My crew is one crew - the finest it has ever been my privilege to serve as Captain._

_"Until next month. Janeway out."_

Janeway's image faded from the screen to be replaced by the Federation starfield emblem. Chakotay was deeply moved by her words, and could not speak for several moments. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, "This is so much more than any of us could have asked for, Kathryn. Thank you."

"Our crews may have started out on opposite sides, Chakotay, but we've become a family, and I would do anything to protect my family." She looked off across the room for a moment and said, "I'm not sure there's a place for me in a Starfleet that doesn't understand that people can change for the better." Janeway leaned toward her terminal and punched in a few commands. She turned to Chakotay and said, "It's queued up to go into the datastream transmission Seven is assembling in Astrometrics. I thought you might like to do the honors."

Chakotay smiled and reached over to tap a key. He sat back, thought for a moment, and then said, "I didn't expect you to bring up _Equinox_, Kathryn."

"Admiral Hayes sent me quite a few reports on the Dominion War, Chakotay. If only half of what I read between the lines is true, then I'm not the only one in the service guilty of questionable behavior in recent years. Bringing up _Equinox_ was my way of making the point that any of us is capable of extreme behavior, if we are pushed past the limit of our endurance. Hayes will understand that, but that's not the final thought I wanted to leave with Headquarters."

Chakotay turned to look directly into her eyes.

"I wanted them to remember that no matter what some of us may have done, we are not beyond redemption."

© February 2004


End file.
